Weeing on a white plastic stick to see if your life is about to irrevocably change forever. Freaky.
Feeling another, unseen, human being continually roll and kick and hiccup and pummel you from the inside. Freaky.
Having a stretch and sweep. Freaky. *shudder*
Having so many blood tests and urine tests and *ahem* examinations in your nether regions that it all becomes routine. Freaky.
Not caring a whit that there is an entire stadium's worth of people watching your lady bits strain (unsuccessfully) to birth your child. Freaky.
Willingly staying awake for 48 hours to express milk and feed your newborn to flush out his jaundice, only stopping to sleep when the green demon floats across the room grinning at you. Freaky.
The whole colostrum / milk-coming-in / mastitis / colic / attempting to feed a starving baby that won't feed / bottles vs. breast malarchy. Freaky.
Learning how to function on two hours sleep. Freaky.
Enduring every medical procedure under the sun post-childbirth in an attempt to fix the destruction wrought by three little cherubs. Freaky.
Having a CT scan. FUH-REAKY. I'm sorry. I have had a lot of medical gear happen to me over the years. Adenoidectomy. Appendectomy. Tonsillectomy. Bowel obstruction. Bowel resection. Uterine ablation. All the palaver that goes with being pregnant and then squeezing a fully-formed human out of a protesting female body. Septicaemia. The eight (EIGHT!) attempts it took to insert a canula into my arm after nearly carking it in the ambulance. Colonoscopy. Gastroscopy. Colonoscopy again. Gastroscopy. Again.
But by far and away, the freakiest thing I have ever experienced was the CT scan. Most likely because it completely took me by surprise. There was no lead-up. I had no idea what it entailed. I went from sitting comfortably in the specialist's office, to being whisked downstairs for a CT scan within an hour.
The nurse that prepped me was gorgeous (not in a sexy way, although she was quite pretty I suppose? I dunno?) and explained what I would need to do, and the possible side-effects I would feel as a result of having radioactive stuff injected into my veins. I thought it all looked pretty easy (apart from the canula - those things are NOT my friends). I popped on the fetching white backless gown, lay down on the big white bed in the big white circly thingy, and had the *shudder* canula inserted.
When the radioactive stuff went into my arm, my face went warm, my hands went tingly and I wet my pants. No seriously. That's what it felt like. The fur-reakiest feeling I have ever had, including when I had my waters broken with a knitting needle. Well, ok. I didn't actually wet my knickers. But apparently it's a common side-effect, that the warmth of the radioactive meds makes ladies feel as though they've had a little accident. Someone bring me a Tena lady.
Now, you might wonder why I'm telling you this. The way I see it, someone needs to get a laugh out of it. Because I sure as hell didn't. Way too freaky for this little lady. Give me a public ventouse any day.
2 comments:
Ewww, not laughing - sitting here, legs crossed thinking - FREAKY!!
God, you have had a lot to deal with over the years.
Lets hope you've had your fair share now!
Hello there!
A few hours ago I had my first CT scan and was told exactly the same thing as you. When I went in there I was SURE I wet my pants. Me thinking how I was going to bring this up to the technician distracted me from the spinning scanner whirring around me. When I came out, I reached down to see if it was damp and was busted with my hand cupping my testicles by the technician. He laughed and said "You didn't wet your pants. It doesn't happen often, but it has been known to happen."
So I came home and decided to google "CT scan wet pants" and BAM! There is someone else out there!
I'm with you, hands down the freakiest sensation of my life. I'll sleep better tonight having read someone else's account of it too.
Hope your find the cure to what ails you soon.
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