Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The New Year Grinch

I think the biggest problem with a new year is the pressure.

It's such a squeaky clean slate, y'know? A fresh start, new beginnings etc. etc. I used to be one of those people who loved a Monday because it was a new week, a fresh start - you can imagine how unbearable I was with a New Year. Capital N, capital Y. Capital P for Pain In The Rear.

With a Brand New Year, you get a clean, new calendar (and after a few more weeks, beautiful crisp, fresh school-related stationery) and the chance to write in it with no mistakes or scribbling out (can anyone else see my OCD tendencies emerging here?? No??)

I would clean my house from top to bottom; chuck out all remaining Christmas-related sugar and stodge; fill in my pristine new calendar with birthdays and important dates with a nice pen, and embark on a skin-cleansing-every-night-exercise-every-single-day-puritan-diet-with-no-fun-stuff regimen that would answer all of my problems.

Then, somewhere between New Year's 2005/6 and New Year's 2006/7, I gave birth to Jack.

Which meant that New Year's Eve 2006 and New Year's Day 2007 were a totally different kettle of fish to previous ones. I did not have a hangover to recover from. My new calendar was shoved somewhere on the kitchen bench (probably under my breast pump). I was on maternity leave, so there wasn't any money to squander at the shops. And even if there were, a 7 month old baby kind of cramps your style in the changing rooms...

And clean my house from top to bottom? With a crawling baby? Ha!

So I guess that around the same time I was earning my motherhood stripes, something in my New-Year-psyche shifted. Rather than the New Year being full of promise and possibilities, it just seemed to me to be a day when getting a park at Safeway was impossible. A day that symbolised pressure - for whatever your particular goal was - to lose weight, to be more organised, to quit smoking, to simply be happier. It's January 1st, dammit! Be happy! Be thin! Stub out that ciggy! Stop drinking! Save money! It makes me tired just thinking about it.

I mean, come on, we've just had Christmas - the season to spend money we don't have (well, after all, God would not have put those dresses at 30% off in exactly the same shop that you needed to go to to buy for someone else if He didn't want you to have one, right?? Right????). It's the season to eat far too much 'sometimes' food, far too often (because it would be churlish and wrong to refuse lovingly-prepared party nibblies whilst socialising with one's loved ones and strangers at Christmas, right?) It's the season to drink lovely bubbly drinkies at said social gatherings (again, churlish comes to mind for those who say no thank you to the aforementioned beverages).

And after several weeks of shopping, spending, eating and drinking, how on earth are we meant to click our fingers and become clean-eating, teetotalling, hessian-sack wearing (ok, this might be going overboard slightly, but whatevs) puritans just because it's January 1st?

It's almost as if we're all in the middle of a massive sing-a-long, belting out glorious tunes with tinsel draped around our necks ("Tis the season to be jolly!" Alrighty then, maybe I WILL pop that third mince pie on my plate...right next to the pavlova...) when the fun police ram the door down, confiscate the merriment and jollity, and leave everyone standing around with some Nicorette patches, a family-sized calendar/organised and a Weight Watchers pamphlet in their shocked hands.

Or maybe I'm just a New Year grinch.

*sigh*

Ok. I'll just come out and admit it, shall I? I'm highly suspicious of New Years, and the promises that a New Year holds. Ever since New Years 2009, I have been waiting for a good 'un. Every year since then (when I was hugely pregnant with the Mouse), I have privately held high hopes for the incoming year...and been bitterly disappointed (except for when Mais burst noisily into the world. That bit was awesome).

So here it is, 2013. 2012 was, as expected, exceptionally average for the first six months. I was unemployed; our house was incomplete; my health was dodgy-as; Archie went to live on the farm with Farmer Brown. I guess it's safe to say that until around July, 2012 sucked arse. But from August on, 2012 was pretty good. If 2012 received a report card, I'd say that it had made a great effort to improve throughout the second semester and finished at a satisfactory level, however, it would still benefit from a more positive attitude and from not sending my dog to live with the angels.

2013: I'm looking directly at you. You have 365 (well actually, 364 since it's already the end of January 1st but anyway) days to prove yourself. It shouldn't be too hard to be an improvement on recent efforts. All you have to do not be completely shitty, and you'll win Year of the Year, hands-down.

Now, where's that new calendar of mine?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ahh Sal I'm not one for new year resolutions or excitement about the coming year either, it's all such hype. These days I'm much more into taking one day at a time and if by the end of the year my friends and loved ones are alive and well, then it's been a good year. But I will admit, I do get a kick out of preparing my new calendar :)Leonna

Sarah said...

Lol Sal - pretty much how I feel about New Year too ;)

The only challenge I'm setting myself this year is to fine a moment in each day for happiness - some may have more or less than others but Im determined that there will be at least one in each.

Happy New year lovely and may all your days have a moment of happiness too! xx

Salamander said...

I hope I'm on your new calendar Leonna!! Xxx

Salamander said...

I've said it before Sarah - you live inside my head!! (And I'm so sorry you have to live in such a dive) I swear you can hear my thoughts. I'm in the middle of writing a post about finding happiness every day...scary!!!!
Just having you in my bloggy world makes me happy. If you were in my real world I think I'd be delirious with joy!! Xxx