Cuddles

Team O'Toole was suffering a massive post-Wiggles hangover this morning. Oh baby, we were sooking and whinging and carrying on (and that was just Christian...just kidding!). The kids were so tired that every little thing became a squabble or a hassle. To make matters worse, Christian and I had been up with the Mouse until almost one in the morning after a coughing fit turned into a multicoloured yawn. It's so cute how she loves to hop into the shower with me, I just wish she wouldn't feel the need to yak all over me beforehand.

Anyway, after our massive day yesterday, I was surprised at how energetic the big kids were at their swimming lessons this morning. Poor old Maisie Mouse wasn't well enough to swim, so she just snuggled into my neck and slept through the chlorinated clamour. She woke up briefly to snack on some lunch, and then went back to sleep on my shoulder all through a visit to the local Christmas-tree-and-Santa-decoration shop. While Jack and Phoebs ooh-ed and aah-ed over the garish tinsel and flashing neon Christmas decorations, Mais snored softly on my arm, looking every inch the Christmas cherub. After seeing Santa and receiving a "candy can" (no, that's not a typo, that's what my children so endearingly call them), we took two delighted children and one tired, blurry little baby home.

I hate it when my babies are sick - I mean, come on, who doesn't? You want to stop them from feeling miserable, you wish you could help them sleep or at least just get comfortable. But I must admit I love the extra cuddles when my babies are feeling poorly (and before this is misconstrued, I don't want my babies to get sick so that I get more cuddles...but you know what I mean!) With the weather being so warm today, I was doing housework in a singlet and a pair of shorts. When Maisie woke from her nap and I stripped her off to cool her down, she snuggled into me and I realised - those skin-to-skin cuddles make me feel whole. It's as though when I pick her up, and her skin touches mine, I feel like the last piece of the puzzle is in place.

When your baby is inside of you, they are a part of you, literally and figuratively. I know when mine were born, the feeling of their little naked bodies on my chest was sheer bliss, because they were where they belonged. The skin-to-skin snuggles only last for a short while, because before you know it you've got a wriggly little person who is desperate to get down and into the action. Rather than having a tiny baby willing to be snuggled for the hours between feeds, you have someone who wants to squawk, and flap their hands, and roll around, and pull your hair, and suck on the remote. (or at least, that's what it's like here!) Today, my little girl wanted nothing more than to be in my arms while she slept and tried to feel better. And the feeling of her velvety skin on mine was so wonderful, I would have stayed like that all day if I could (except she now weighs about 9 kilos instead of 3, and I had two other tired little bodies to deal with...not to mention poor old Daddy!)

I wish those baby cuddles would last forever (and I think perpetually having babies in order to keep having those cuddles would eventually be unsustainable...) But I must say, three-year-old cuddles are delicious in a completely different, spontaneous, enthusiastic way, and four-year-old cuddles are very frequent, warm and affectionate. Cuddles from my kids are always gorgeous, and I suppose every single snuggle reminds me of the very first cuddle with each of them. I just need to make sure I stop to enjoy every single one, and the sensation of my skin being made whole by my children.