A Day in the Life of Maisie

6am: Wake up, stand up in cot and wail until Mummy comes to scoop me up. Am taken into Mummy's bed for a snuggle and a feed (to keep me quiet)

6.30am: Mummy gets up after I spend half an hour kicking, tugging, wrestling, and eventually talking, instead of feeding. Mummy sighs.

7am: I watch the other kids while I sit in my highchair. Mummy puts cut-up fruit on my tray and tries to feed me cereal. I squish the fruit between my fingers and play tennis with the cereal-filled spoon. It's great fun - especially when the cereal splatters everywhere!

7.30am: I practise my pulling-up on the couches in the loungeroom. It's a good time of day to surreptitiously watch Jack and Phoebe to learn some new bad habits, because usually Mum is too busy cleaning up after breakfast to notice.

8am: Being Saturday, we don't need to get in the big noisy moving thing to take Jack to the big noisy place with lots of kids. Instead, I have plenty of time to crawl around and find things to break. Am particularly interested in Phoebe's toy oven, with all the pretty little things that fit perfectly in my mouth.

9am: Felt a lot better after filling my shorts. I laughed a lot. Everyone else looked distinctly unhappy.

10am: After Mum had wrestled me into some clothes, I wanted to sit on her lap and make her watch the pretty pictures on the big black box. So I sooked and carried on, twisting and fake-crying until she cuddled me on her soft, warm lap. Much better than sitting on the floor. The floor has less padding.

11am: Was put back in my highchair for lunch. Mum gave me some bread with that black sticky stuff on it (Phoebe calls it 'Medgeemite' so I guess that's what it is), and some banana. I hid the bread under my bottom and threw the banana to the dog, so they'd think I ate it. Then I pointed repeatedly at the yoghurt until they got the hint. Sometimes my mother is a bit slow on the uptake.

Midday: Mum put me in my cot because she thought I was tired. I called out for a while and carried on, but after a while it was easier to lie down for a kip. Besides, that pink seahorse Mum put in my cot for company is very soft, and it plays sleepy music that can be quite persuasive!!

2pm: Woke up just in time to go to the playground. There were heaps of big kids running around. I wanted to run too, so I made Mum and Narnie hold my hands while I practised walking. I still can't quite make my legs do what I want, but I'm managing to kick fewer people now. Narnie put me on lots of things at the playground - she has much more patience than my Mum!! Mummy wouldn't let me eat the tan bark, couldn't understand what her problem was. Some germ phobia, probably.

3pm: They wheeled me up the street in the pram to get a drink at a cafe. I shared an apple juice with Jack and Phoebe, which was nice - usually they make me watch while they enjoy the big-kid treats. I have eight teeth now - how many do I have to have before I qualify as grown-up?? Seriously.

4pm: Fell asleep in the car on the way home; let Mum carry me in and put me in the cot. Was too warm and cosy to care about putting up a fight. I know how much Mum enjoys those cuddles, so sometimes I snuggle in just to let her have her moment. She'll need something to hold on to when I'm 15.

5pm: Woke with a raging appetite and a wicked glint in my eye. Was definitely ready for some fun! Dinner was a smorgasbord of pumpkin, baked beans, cheese and peas. I ate the cheese. The rest looked very fetching in my hair. Mum just sighed a lot, again.

5:30pm: Had a bath to get the pumpkin out of my hair. I love baths - you can throw yourself around in the water, and when it goes over the side it makes a great big splash!! The best part is getting Mum and Dad soaked. They haven't cottoned on to the fact that I know precisely what I'm doing. And I'm too cute to chastise. I reckon I've got at least a few more months up my sleeve.

6pm: While the others are being made to pack up the toys, I sit in the corner "reading" books and practising my 'cute' voice. It comes in very handy when I've done something naughty and I need a distraction.

6.15pm: Saw the dog and cats through the window. Abandoned everything to crawl rapidly across the room and started shouting/squealing at them. If only I could get my hands on one of them!! All I want to do is have a ride...and stick my finger up their noses to see what they would do...and sample that delicious-looking food in the bowl outside. Mum gets all fidgety when I go near the pets' food, like I might give them germs or something. Pffft.

7pm: With the big kids in bed, I have some one-on-one time with Mum. It's my favourite time of day. She'll sit for hours holding me while I feed, as long as I make sure my eyelids look heavy and I cuddle in close. She really likes it when I touch her face gently, so I make sure I do that periodically just to keep her settled. I like to have a good, long feed before bed, so that my tummy is full of milk. And it's a lot nicer to go to sleep in Mum's arms, rather than in bed - she's my personal hot-water bottle!

7.30pm: Around this time, I get put into bed, enclosed in my sleeping bag and snuggled up to my pink seahorse. I don't get asked to tidy up the toys, put away my shoes, say please or thankyou - all I have to do is cuddle, giggle in a cute fashion, and occasionally eat the food rather than flinging it. No wonder I'm always smiling!!!!