Mummy the underachiever

It took me all day today to do absolutely nothing. Seriously. With our new schedule being dictated by Jack's big-boy school hours, I am having to readjust the way I do things. As a result...I achieved absolutely nothing today (or rather, nothing that I needed to achieve today!!).

Here's a breakdown on how to breathe in and out for an entire day without actually doing a thing:

1. Wake at 5:45am, breastfeed baby in feeble attempt to keep her quiet for a few minutes.
2. Make breakfast for family; clean up breakfast after family throws it on floor / smears it on table / spills it on chairs and themselves.
3. Dress family, brush family's teeth, pack school bag, kinder bag and nappy bag.
4. Drive to kinder, take everybody out of the car to take Phoebe inside.
5. Drive to school, put Maisie in pram and walk with Jack to the school (as had to park car two blocks away to get a car park).
6. Drive to supermarket. Sit in car park at supermarket while Maisie sleeps (if sick baby is asleep, then let sick baby sleep. Do not, I repeat, do not wake sick baby. Coles will still be there when she wakes up.)
7. Do ridiculously large grocery shop while only one child is in attendance. Stop periodically to wipe child's persistently runny nose. Take a box of tissues from the shelf and open it when tissues in your pockets are sodden. Pay for half-empty box at the checkout.
8. Take baby and shopping home. Attempt to unpack shopping. When unsuccessful due to desperate crying (Maisie's, not mine), stop unpacking and make Maisie lunch. Clean uneaten lunch off highchair tray and floor. Attempt to unpack groveries with Maisie on hip. Give up and nurse Maisie to sleep.
9. Resume unpacking of groceries.
10. Stop unpacking and get Maisie out of cot ten minutes after putting her down, when it is apparent that screaming is not conducive to sleep.
11. Wander around house holding baby, periodically wiping poor little red nose, and failing to complete any task.
12. Attempt to hang out washing by putting baby in highchair in the back yard next to clothesline. Hope neighbours do not phone 000 in response to the baby's yells. Pick the baby up. Stops crying immediately; begins racking, heaving sobs.
13. Decide that Mouse needs entertainment. Sit on floor and try to play game. Baby resumes crying and reaches arms up beseechingly.
14. Sit on couch, cuddling baby. Discover that 'Beaches' is on telly.
15. Discover that mummies who only yesterday deposited firstborn child at primary school should not watch 'Beaches'. Turn into ugly crier.
16. Look at watch, realise that it is time to collect Jack.
17. Drive to school, collect Jack.
18. Drive to kinder, collect Phoebe.
19. Drive to ballet, leave Phoebe with Miss Annette; leave Jack at playground with Daddy; put Maisie in pram and walk to supermarket for forgotten items.
20. Drive home and re-discover that the washing is still wet; the groceries are still waiting to be unpacked; the beds are still waiting (fruitlessly, I might add) to be made, and it is dinner time.

And that, my friends, is how to fill a day without doing a single thing.