Big and little

With the imminent arrival of the new school year, I am bracing myself for some emotional upheaval. Next week, our biggest baby, Jack aka Superman aka the Red Hornet aka Spunkrat aka Da! (thanks Mais) will begin primary school, and I will begin my life as a primary school mumma. Oh my lordy, how not-ready am I!?! Jack is completely, totally and utterly ready to make the leap from kinder to "big school". Since Phoebalina went back to kinder two days a week, Jack and I have spent Mondays and Fridays having a bit of one-on-one time (with the Mouse, of course!)  - something we haven't had much of since he was a baby. And over the past week and a bit, I have discovered that my boy is getting very, very big...with a few patches of very little thrown into the mix.

During December and early January we had taken care of Jack's uniform and school shoes. The only thing left to do was get a haircut for that boofy hair - so yesterday we dropped Phoebs off at kinder and headed to the hairdresser's. On our way, Jack informed me that he wanted to look "like a spunkrat, Mum." I wasn't sure if he knew precisely what a spunkrat was, but he was mightily chuffed when Whitney got the clippers out and gave him a number three. He was even more impressed when she left it a tiny bit longer on top and spiked it up - and he did look absolutely gorgeous. And very, very big.

You should have seen him strut around the shops afterwards...and when a lady at the bakery complimented him on his grown-up hair, I thought he was going to explode with pride! He was my best helper yesterday, pushing the pram around the supermarket (never mind that Mais got the best amusement-park ride of her short life!), putting things in the basket, giving the money to the shopkeepers. When we arrived home, I made him lunch and said he could have a DVD for quiet time. I chose 'Wallace and Gromit' (because if I see 'Cars' one more time I might vomit), and he smiled, and said, "Thank you Mummy. I love Gromit, but could I watch Tibbie-tubbies instead?"

Now, as I go all misty-eyed typing this, you should know that 'Tibbie-tubbies' is what Jack called the Teletubbies when he was two. And he hasn't wanted to watch it for years - after all, it's for babies, not great big boys of four years old! But it was left in front of the telly after the girls watched it the other day (yes, I am a bad, bad mother) and so he curled up next to me while I fed the Mouse, and flicked Teddy's tail. And looked very, very little.

Phoebs, too, has been making the transition from little to big in the last few weeks (even though she will tell you until she's blue in the face that she's already a bigger bigger bigger BIGGER girl!) All of a sudden her hair has grown noticeably longer (still not actually "long", but long for our girl!), and she has transitioned to the 'Kinder 1' room. You have never seen a more excited child than Phoebalicious on Monday when she realised she was in the "big kids kinder". According to her teachers, she was so happy all day - and all I know is that she was simply buzzing last night with stories and paintings she'd done and new friends she'd made (not that she could remember their names, of course!) Withing the blink of an eye, Phoebe has become a big sister who knows how to play gently with Maisie; a daughter who loves to have her hair put up and wear princess fairy costumes, just like a big girl.

And yet...right now Phoebe is fast asleep in our bed. Since the kids are all sharing one room, she finds it difficult to get to sleep, so we put her in our bed until she's comatose. I've just been in to check on her, and found a girly curled up in a ball, fast asleep and dreaming,looking just like she did at about 6 months old. And very, very little.

And the Mouse? What can I tell you about Miss Maisie, who is nearly 13 months old? Well, in the past 24 hours, she has learned to high-five (something she is inordinately proud of! We get a toothy grin every time), and has figured out how to call the dog. This morning, we heard a breathy little "Di-see? Di-see?" as she called Daisy from her cot. Thankfully, the dog doesn't understand her yet...She has also learned to wave bye-bye, which is very cute especially when she waves a little starfish hand frantically, while shouting "Ta-ta!!" With the eight teeth, and the bandy legs trying to stand, and the long sticky-uppy hair, she's getting so very, very big...

And yet, she has ramped up her feeding in the last few days, to the point where I think breastmilk has surpassed the importance of even blueberries for the Mouse...and each time, she winds her fist around my t-shirt or bra strap and holds on tightly. Her eyelids droop involuntarily, she breathes in the scent of my skin with deep, snorty breaths, and it's as though I once again have a little baby in my arms rather than a great big birthday girl.

So here I am, at the precipice of a new chapter in our lives. Starting primary school...starting 3 year old kinder...learning to walk...With babies that are getting to be so big and grown-up, while still retaining tiny bits and pieces of their babyhood. I don't know why this past week has triggered so many big and little moments - but I am so very grateful that the "little" moments had nothing to do with lapses in toilet training...

And by-the-by: happy 100th blog!! It's hard to believe I've actually written 100 of these therapeutic passages...even harder to believe that someone has read them. So thank you! I'd like to say I've got 100 candles to blow out, but would a cup of tea suffice? Cheers! xxx