Passing it on

After swimming lessons today, the big kids had a sleep and the Mouse enjoyed some quiet time playing by herself. Christian and I were tidying up before my family arrived for an afternoon tea to celebrate my Dad's birthday. Maisie was just happily cruising around and chattering quietly to her toys, so it wasn't until Christian nudged me that I paid attention to her game. She had put a dolly into the little toy highchair, and was cooing gently to it while trying to "feed" her baby with a toy fork. Actually, if I am to be precise, she was carefully putting the fork into the doll's eye most of the time, but her intentions were clear!! She sat in front of the highchair, spooning pretend food into her baby's face, for quite some time before she realised that she had an audience.

I was absolutely astonished that Maisie would be playing a game such as this (as opposed to shoving objects into the space between the TV cabinet and the wall, or attempting to take horsey-rides on the dog). I watched her take care of her dolly with such love; she was mothering a doll nearly as big as herself! And it made me realise - even though I already knew that as parents, we are our children's first teachers, the amount they absorb from us each and every day is staggering. Every time I have sat and spoon-fed Maisie in her highchair, she has been learning what it is to care for a small child. Every time I have wiped away tears and applied Dora bandaids after a fall; every time I have scolded after someone misbehaved or did something dangerous; every time I have given cuddles, or read stories, or thrown my hands up and groaned...all of these things my babies have absorbed.

It was such a beautiful sight to see my tiny one year old girl administering such love and attention on her doll (if only because it might mean that she has seen me being a kind mummy to my babies, as opposed to an exasperated and cross mummy!) And while baking a cake for Pa's birthday today, Maisie's behaviour made me think about what I had learned from my Dad about parenting.

There are a thousand things I remember from my childhood, but a few things stand out like gems. We had bunny rabbits and guinea pigs when we were little, amongst many, many other pets. My Dad could hold a bunny in one hand, and stroke it with the other, and his hands were so big that the rabbit would be completely enclosed by his palms. Without fail, the bunny would close it's little eyes in bliss and go to sleep while being stroked by my Dad. He would do the same thing to my head if I fell over and hurt myself - he would hold me close and stroke my head, his palm covering my entire skull. It was the most comforting sensation in the world.

Being a gentle giant, my Dad rarely raised his voice. He taught us that swearing didn't make you cool; that being friendly could only ever help you; and that if someone was really bugging you, to tell them to pull their head in. The best piece of advice he ever gave me when I was working in retail in the city, was to simply say "thank you" if a customer was being obnoxious. And do you know what? Somewhere out there is a business man who once heard only those two syllables from me - Dad's advice worked a treat!!

My Dad taught me how to kick a footy; he coached my basketball team when I was 14; he spent hours trying to teach me to ride a two-wheeler bike. There was never a sport I could not do if I tried hard enough (and believe me, I am definitely athletically-challenged!!), because my Dad taught me my best was all he needed. He showed me how to persevere when things were tricky; he taught me that the way to interpret 'failure' was to learn the lesson and try again. Dad only ever got frustrated with me if I was rude, ungrateful or dropped my bundle. He wasn't shy about letting me know if I had not done my best (I'm actually waiting for the day I can trot out the old chestnut, "I'm not angry, sweetheart. I'm disappointed".....!!!!) but was also always the first to shout my achievements from the rooftops.

This week, my Dad will be celebrating his birthday. And I can only hope that he knows how much I love him and appreciate all the time, effort, love and basketball coaching that he has given to me. My mum and dad taught me how to be a parent...and now, it would seem, I am already passing some of these things onto my very young children. So in addition to teaching my kids how to love, share, support and bounce off each other, I will also teach them one very important lesson: how to give fantastic birthday kisses and cuddles to their wonderful Pa. Happy birthday, Dalp xxx