Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Mummy Blogger Ranting

The lovely Zoey over at Good Goog got me thinking this morning. Now, there's some pretty amazing women out there blogging their little hearts out every day, and I'll admit I'd love to have the numbers reading my blog that follow the likes of Maxabella, Lucy, Chantelle, Beth and Zoey, to name a handful. These ladies are all mummies who juggle paid work, unpaid work, school runs, kinder duties, friends, family, you name it. And they all blog so beautifully, it's a joy to read about their lives every morning.

What I'm so confused about is the apparent vitriol aimed at mummy bloggers. Why is it such a bad thing to blog about motherhood? To the untrained eye, I suppose motherhood could be summed up in a few words, eg. nappies, vomit, nappies, poo, nappies, whinging, supermarket shopping, nappies, sleepless nights. And, if we're being bleatingly honest, some days that's what it feels like.

But if you are a mother, be it biological, adoptive, surrogate, foster, estranged, whatever - if you have, at some point in your life, cared for and loved a young child, then you understand that mothering is all about loving. And sometimes, no matter how much you wanted it, or prayed for it, or love doing it, being a mum is just plain old hard work. Knowing that you can turn on your computer and either read about another mummy's exploits from that day, or pour your own thoughts into the keyboard provides a sort of salvation, in my mind. There have been days when I have done nothing but deal with gastro and tantrums and spiders and an empty fridge, and the only thing that has kept me from turning to hard drugs is the thought, "At least this will make for a good blog". At least someone else might find my misfortunes funny, or relate to them, or perhaps have a better day because of reading my blog.

And about becoming a "mummy blogger"?? Well, did I enjoy creative writing at school? Yes. Was literature my favourite subject in high school? Yes. (Nerd!) Did I, in fact, marry a Literature teacher? Yes ( a rather lovely one, at that). Are there many opportunities for a Biology teacher to write creatively? Well, frankly, no. Until I was on maternity leave, doing something like blogging never entered my mind simply because I didn't have the time, or the inclination to look at a computer after looking at one at work all day. I completed my Master of Education when Phoebe was 6 weeks old, which meant that I had maintained a working relationship with my laptop through the births of two babies.

It wasn't until Maisie was tiny, and I wasn't "working", and I needed a creative outlet for myself, that I started blogging. And being a stay-at-home mum, what else would I write about, but mothering? Some people are bothered about being 'labelled' as a mummy blogger, or being reduced to nothing more than a mother. Personally? Label me whatever you want - it's no skin off my nose! Do you enjoy reading my blog? That's a more pertinent question.

I realise that some women wish to retain the aspects of their lives that they had prior to giving birth. You know, career, friends, social lives, hobbies, political views, opinions on important issues - the whole idea that "I'm more than just a mother, you know". And I'll probably be lynched for what I'm about to say here. I have been labelled many things over the last 34 years - daughter, sister, wife, friend, student, graduate, sales assistant, camp counsellor, bar maid, nanny, teacher - and all of those roles were important in different ways. But in my opinion, the most important role I have played, is mother. Being a mum is what defines me. I am a mum before anything else - not exclusively a mother - but a mother first and foremost. All of the other roles in my life, and all of the experiences I have had, help make me the mother that I am.

And because this is what takes the majority of my time, at this point in my life, I write about being a mum. It may seem at times as though I am obsessed with the mundane (for example, today Maisie did five poos. FIVE! Will seriously have to consider her dried-fruit intake), but this is my life. As far as I'm concerned, you make the most of the only life you have, because it will be over before you know it. And if you don't like mummy bloggers? Then don't read them!! If you do like mummy bloggers? Excellent!! Tomorrow's rant shall be about people who steal the 'Parents With Prams' car spots at Coles even though there's not a child in sight. Grrr!!!!! (Just kidding. Don't have a clue what tomorrow's blog will be about. Am not doing anything after the school run, except perhaps sitting on my bum all day watching Day of Our Lives and eating Tim Tams...that's what housewives do, right?)

7 comments:

BabyMac said...

Here here! I still use "only" in front of Stay at home Mum when I am asked what I do. Some day I'll get over it and get comfortable in this skin. The blog is a good start right?!

Romina Garcia said...

Great post!
I do it to keep me sane. That's pretty much it. I couldn't stand sitting there watching another little persons movie with them. I was at the point of pulling my hair out. Now I can still sit with them through their movie, but I have a laptop with me to entertain me!
Win, win.

Anonymous said...

I don't read them! I've only started to read a handful of those by people going to the conference because I wanted to connect before getting there. In all honesty I'll probably only skim them afterwards because it's just not relevant to me as a non-mother. just as my knitting blog is probably only interesting to other knitters.

As much as I wish with all my heart I could be a mother, I don't understand many aspects of mummy blogging and the women who want to write obsessively about it but that's ok. I'm not audience.

Bec | Mumma Tells said...

I am not a mother - but rather a wannabe, or better yet, a can't-wait-to-be. I love reading your blogs on your daily antics, and those of your kiddies, on motherhood, and on life in general. It makes me smile, laugh, and hope that one day I will be as terrific and loving a mother as you, Sal. Xx.

posie blogs Jennie McClelland said...

You'll like my blog, i'm raising 4 children with a husband interstate & overseas for 3 years, i'm honest & real, i work from home (for 10 years & counting) & happily call myself a housewife (i've graduated from stay-at-home-mum as my youngest is 7 & in year 2 at school. I don't make things up, i really don't think you have to with children, you CAN'T make up some of the crazy stuff they do. So you won't find me complaining about my children, i created them, desperately wanted them, lots of them, love them to pieces & am very fair about my feelings. They are awesome, what's not to love about your OWN children?? A little bit of me is sad this evening as my high schooler is off to camp tomorrow, they grow so quickly, cherish the time they are home with you. Above all, treat them with love, happiness & respect, you'll get it back. Wishing you well in your mummy bloggy journey.
I'm on the other side of the nappies!! I sometimes wonder if blogs were around when i had 4 under 4.5 years, no one would believe that i ran a business from home, had a husband in a war zone, breast fed, used cloth nappies, worked out & was happy - but it's true!! I had sleepers & super healthy easy babies, i know i'm lucky so i appreciate it & embrace it!!
Love Posie

Diminishing Lucy said...

Sally, this is beautifully put and so very very accurate.

And I found you a link for Maisie -
http://www.petitesouris.co.uk/acatalog/Maisy_Aprons.html

xx

Maxabella said...

I don't like the labels. I think 'mummy blogger' sounds a bit silly, to be honest. No-one calls me 'mummy' except my children and they usually go for 'mumma'.

At the end of the day, no matter how much of 'me' I babble on about retaining and enriching, I'm a mother first, a wife second and they're the bits that give me 99.9% of the joy in my life. The other 0.01% is all about the sleeping. x