Dreaming of a quiet place

"Mummy, what time is it?"
"6:30, sweetheart"
"Can we go out to the loungeroom to play?"
"Yes, as long as you play nicely"
"Mummy, Phoebe broke Grandma's statue again"
"Well, Jack, you broke it first. Stay away from Grandma's statue please."
"Mummy, I'm hungry"
"Well, Phoebe, finishing your breakfast would help"
"Mummy, can you make me a ramp for my skateboarders?"
"When you are dressed for kinder, mate"
"Mummy, Jack pushed me!"
"Say sorry, Jack"
"Mummy, Phoebe pushed me!"
"Say sorry, Phoebe"
"Mummy, I want sumpin else"
"There's still breakfast in that bowl, Phoebe"
"Mummy, I'm still hungry"
"For crying out loud, Phoebe, finish your corn flakes!!!!"
"Mummy, what are we doing today?"
"Going to kinder if you ever get dressed."
"Mummy, can I wear my red gumboots?"
"Yes, Phoebe. They will go well with your pink beanie, patterned jumper, and corn flake moustache"
"Mummy, where are you going?"
"To have a shower (and throw a hair dryer in the bath...)"
"Mummy, Maisie is crying. Give her a booby"
"Thank you my love, I wasn't aware of what that sad noise was. I'll feed her when you stop running past"
"Mummy, look at me!!!!"
"Jack, please stop running around the lounge room, Maisie won't feed if she's watching you"
"Mummy, look at me!!!!"
"Jack, please. You're not being my helper"
"Mummy, look at me!!!!!!!!!!"
"Go to your room, Jack"
"No."
"Go to your room, Jack, before I make you"
*makes challenging face* "No."
"OK, let's go" *drags self out of chair with baby attached to breast, heaves four-year-old to the bedroom*
"Mummy?"
"Yes, Phoebe?"
"I'm hungry."
"Phoebe, let's get dressed, ok?"
"No."
"I beg your pardon?"
"No."
"Do you want to go to the naughty space?"
"No, thank you"
"Well, then, let's get dressed!"
"Mum, can I sit in the middle when we're in the car?"
"You can sit on the roof racks if you just get in the car...ahem, I mean, of course, sweetheart"
"Mummy, what's that noise?"
"The Beastie Boys, honey"
"Why?"
"Because Mummy needs something to find a happy place"
"Why?"
"Because it's too early in the morning for Mummy to start drinking."
"Mummy, what time is it?"
"It's 8:30, darling. 8:30 in the morning"
"Mummy?"
"Yes, Phoebe?"
"I'm hungry"
*sigh*