Three Candles for Phoebalina Ballerina

Three years ago today, I was in hospital gazing at our brand-new beautiful baby daughter. Phoebe Anna Louise was born at twelve minutes past nine in the morning, weighing a perfect 8 lb 1 oz, and measuring 54 cm long. She had dark brown fuzz covering her little head, which surprised everyone! Although she showed her indignation at being disturbed from the womb and screamed very loudly for half an hour after she was born, I swear from that time on, she never cried. I remember having this tiny bundle placed naked on my chest in the recovery area, under a warmed blanket. She lay on my skin for several hours after her birth, covered in vernix and snuggly-warm, fists curled into little flowers and eyes tightly shut. We knew we were having a daughter, but had not completely decided on her name until we saw her face. After a couple of hours, it became apparent that this little person was not an Emily, but rather a Phoebe (named for the character in 'The Catcher In The Rye', not Phoebe from 'Friends' as many of the nurses thought!!). On the day she was born, we were told of an old saying in England: to say "Aunt Phoebe had come to visit" meant the sun had come out. What a lovely way to describe how she made me feel - as though the sun had begun to shine in my heart.

Jack was only 17 months old when Phoebe was born, so she quickly became known as 'Fifi'. She was the most placid baby I could imagine, and simply adored her big brother. Very quickly she lost the dark hair and became a real little blondie - so much so that for the first year of her life she appeared bald! Her hair is still so fine that it's usually a halo of fuzz around her head - so many other little girls her age have ponytails and pigtails, but Phoebs still has wispy little curls around the nape of her neck. As soon as she could talk, she named herself 'Beebee', and I was a little sad when she grew old enough to pronounce her name properly.

Phoebe is three years old today, and has grown into a happy, quirky, stubborn, sweet, affectionate, talkative, imaginative little girl. She insists that she is "Mummy's little girl" instead of being a big girl (although she can be a big girl when it suits!!) She loves anything pink, and is currently obsessed with babies and dolls. She has become a real girly girl, something I must admit I am quite pleased about!!!! Phoebe will often appear in outfits of her own making, such as gumboots, a broad-brimmed hat, sunglasses, a nappy, a few random necklaces and a scarf. Or she will stroll through the kitchen with her doll in the pram, saying "Mum, I'm going to the shops. I'll see you later, ok?" She is forever making cups of tea and coffee in her toy kitchen, and isn't satisfied until you pretend to drink all 32 cups she has prepared. Her special dolly is the beloved Lucy, who regularly has a bath in the washing machine but still always looks very loved! Lucy goes everywhere, and I don't know what we'd do if she ever went missing,

The other love of Phoebe's life is Maisie. Everybody asked us about the issue of jealousy when Maisie Mouse was born, but it has literally never been a problem. Both Jack and Phoebe have adored their baby sister since the day she was born, and Phoebe in particular just dotes on her. Every new doll she gets is named 'Baby Mais' (until today when she received a Baby Alive from my mum and dad - her name is Baby Ben!!). She plays for hours with her dollies (mostly all named Baby Mais), loves drawing, the Wiggles, and pretty much anything that Mummy is doing. She has peanut butter on her sandwich every single day, eats the pineapple off the top of the pizza and leaves the rest, insists on sitting in the middle of the car on every outbound trip, is content with the world after a ride on the "toot toot chugga chugga" at the shops, and insists on holding my hand throughout the day, usually when we're just walking through the house. She always has to be the one to push Maisie's pram, is excellent at getting tissues for you if you sneeze and have "boogers". is obsessed with "blut" (blood) and regularly role-plays with her dolls about the perils of jumping on the bed and breaking your nose (and she is speaking from experience!!!)

Today, Phoebe had a party with her friends at a play centre, and then came home to have pizza for dinner with her family. I was so proud watching her today, interacting with her friends, thanking grown-ups for their presents, expressing surprise and gratitude when she opened them. I am so grateful that she chose me to be her mummy, as she is such an affectionate and funny little thing, she reminds me every day that love is all you need. I love the fact that she's still little enough to climb on my lap and want cuddles. She's at that age when they can seem so grown-up one minute, and the next you look and see the tiny baby that was in the perspex cot in the hospital. Sometimes I squeeze my eyes shut to try and remember my beautiful dark-haired baby of three years ago, and then a tall, blonde, giggling bundle will wrap her arms around my legs and say, "Mummy, I need a cuddle!" We have had three years of joy with Phoebalina Ballerina, and I am so proud to say she is my daughter. Happy birthday, my darling girl. I cannot wait to see what you will show us next.