Visiting Argie

My beautiful grandmother always welcomes the kids and I for a visit with open arms. I try and get down to her once a week, although with all of our coughs and colds lately I haven't liked to go there laden with germs! We have always called her 'Narnie', and when Jack arrived I wanted my mum to be a Narnie too, so there was great debate over what my Narnie should be re-named! We went with Great Narnie, which morphed into Narnie G, until Jack settled the debate by mangling this into Argie. I think she loves her new name, especially as Jack came up with it. Anyway, today was a lovely day for visiting Argie, and the kids were excited. I love the fact that not only do I get to indulge in some adult conversation when we visit her, but the kids have developed a very close relationship with their great-grandmother - a luxury not many kids have.

We have been visiting Argie since Jack was a newborn, so the kids are all very familiar with her house and where the toys are located! We always go down and have lunch together, which Jack and Phoebe love because they get to sit at the 'grown-ups' table. Typically, Argie and I attempt to have a conversation while the wild things run rampant. Argie's toy box holds all the wooden blocks, cars and books that my siblings and cousins all played with, and now they are being loved by my children too. Argie has always been one of my best friends, and she is incredibly easy to talk to. No matter what my children have thrown at me (literally and figuratively!), she always has good advice and an ear ready to listen. Not only that, but usually she can relate with a story about her own four children! Every single time I visit Argie, she tells at least one story about a time when her children were little (and most of them I have heard a few times over...). Argie had four children under the age of five (including twins), which in anyone's language is hard work. Given that she raised her family in a time before washing machines, tumble dryers or disposable nappies, I could never compare my workload to hers!!

Today we sat and chatted while she knitted Phoebe a cardigan, and the kids played on the floor around us. I was listening to her tell a story about my mum, and it occurred to me that regardless of how hard it had been, or how little sleep she got, the years when her kids were little were the best of her life. It never matters what the story is about, but talking about her babies brings happiness to her face (never mind that her babies are all grown up and have grandchildren themselves!). The love that she has poured into her family is so evident, simply by watching her speak about her children and remember details from 50 years ago. And as a result of this love, Argie has four children, three sons-in-law and one daughter-in-law, nine grandchildren and three great-grandchildren who would walk over hot coals for her. What an amazing legacy for a mother's hard work, to have a large and loving family who love each other, seek each other's company, take pleasure in other's successes, and comfort each other when there's sadness. She has always been an inspiring woman to me, but today a new reason for inspiration occurred to me. I know that if she were given the chance, Argie would jump at being able to live my life with young children, even for just one day. Even this week, when Maisie has slept in my arms for three nights in a row (screaming if I even think about putting her down), and I have driven all over the countryside taking small people to appointments and kinder and the supermarket, and the rain has stopped any washing from drying, and my husband has been at work every hour God sends, I know Argie would love to be back in the thick of it. And I also know that one day, when my children are grown, when the house is quiet, when I'm not needed every minute of every hour, I will wish for all of this lovely chaos again. And so my lovely grandmother has inspired me to pour all of my love and energy into my children, and cherish every second of the noise and inability to stop moving (and jumping and hopping and skipping). Hopefully, if I am very lucky, one day I too will have children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren who will visit me and bring the chaos I crave, when the house is quiet except for my memories.