Excess baggage

Maisie and I went shopping today, as it is Phoebe's birthday on Friday and there were lots of little details that I needed to take care of while she was at daycare. It was quite nice strolling through the shopping centre with only one smiley little person in the pram, and I got a lot more done in two hours than I normally would with the tribe in tow! The shops were so quiet that we spent quite a lot of time chatting to the sales assistants in several shops. Maisie also tends to attract attention with her big blue eyes and blonde fuzziness (and her tendency to smile at unsuspecting strangers in a beguiling way...to every person who says "well, aren't you beautiful?" she grins gummily at them as if to reply, "oh, I know"!!) The passing observations of a couple of ladies serving me in two different shops got me thinking  about comments that I have inspired from others during pregnancy, after childbirth and in-between. Rather than becoming despondent about disparaging remarks, or getting big-headed over compliments, I decided to collate them for your amusement. Trust me, everything you read here is true.

While pregnant with Jack: "Are you having twins? No? Gee, you're big, aren't you?"
While pregnant with Phoebe: "You've got a lovely little bump this time, don't you? Not like with Jack - you were huge then!"
When Phoebe was ten days old: "When's the baby due?"
While pregnant with Maisie: "Gosh you look well. Not like with the other two - you looked really tired and puffy then"
After giving birth to Maisie: "Gee you've lost weight! I mean, you got really big in the face at the end of your pregnancy, didn't you?"
From a salesperson today: "Gosh, you look good for having three kids! You must be tired though...aren't you?"
From another salesperson today: "No, I don't think that shirt would suit you - it tends to emphasise the tummy. You would be better with something that distracts from the tummy area and camouflages. Try this one, it's very slimming"
From a little old lady in the supermarket: "You have three kids? You don't look a day older than 16! *squints eyes, peers closer, and shakes head*
From a shoe saleslady: "Yes, ballet flats are great for running after the kids, aren't they? And you don't have to be glamorous to wear them either"
From a clothes shop assistant after Phoebe was born: "Did you used to be slim like your mother, or have you always been big?"
From the hairdresser: "Um, I'd probably go for a colour that doesn't need regular touch-ups...you don't get here very often, do you?"

It doesn't take a genius to work out that a lot of mothers are time-poor, usually with roots showing, ragged cuticles, unshaved or unwaxed legs, crows-feet crying out for moisturiser, bags under the eyes that would pass for excess baggage and a bit of excess skin that was not there before childbirth. I'm the first to acknowledge that my personal maintenance is somewhat lacking, and that my glamour-rating would have to be below zero. And yes, there is more skin (and fat, and stretch marks!) than I would like around my middle, but it is slowly shrinking. I am confident that my body will one day resemble it's pre-baby shape (with significant help from under-garment support, the right lighting and blurred vision), however, I'm really not all that fussed right now. What I need is to be healthy and strong enough to keep pace with my kids (and to wear pants that I can tuck my tummy into...) I don't need judgemental strangers telling me how unglamorous and chubby I am - I can do that by myself, thank you very much!!

Anyhow, after a very interesting day at the shops, Maisie and I managed to buy enough fairy paraphernalia to sink a birthday ship, a heart-shaped cookie cutter for the fairy toadstool cake I must create tomorrow, and a couple of lovely tops that, ahem, distract from my midriff. So if you see me wearing them, beware: any comments you say may possibly end up featuring in a future blog.....