The Sentimental Mummy

Today was one of those idyllic days of childhood (or motherhood, if I'm to be totally precise!!). There was nothing remarkable about it, nothing that would create a significant memory or milestone, but I hope that when my children are great big galloping teenagers, I remember vestiges of today. As you can probably already guess, rather than simply enjoying the moment I became so sentimental at the thought of fleeting childhood that I got teary! But we'll get to that later.

It was so gorgeous and breezy outside this morning, and the kids just pottered around the front garden while I hung clothes out to dry. Maisie was having a really long morning nap (she has settled herself into a fantastic routine all by herself, so who am I to argue?) so the three of us played with cars, rolled balls and just hung out in the sunshine. Phoebe made up a little song to go with her ramblings around the garden, and Jack competed with himself to see how many times he could crash his remote control car. We went inside for lunch when Mais woke up, and then it was Phoebalina's turn for a nap. Jack settled down with some books while Maisie and I had a feed (another excuse for a cuddle!!), and when Phoebe woke up we went on an excursion to the supermarket. Not a particularly special day, right? We still had squabbles, flung food on the walls, had exploding nappies and refused to eat our peas. But today something made me look at my kids and see how quickly this phase of my life is going.

In a few short months, Jack will be preparing to start primary school. My sweet, funny, grown-up little man, who still at times displays the characteristics he had as a baby, will soon be going off to be a Preppy. He is so very excited about going to "big school". I, on the other hand, am going to save how I feel for a day when I can explain without blubbing! Today I watched Jack play with his sisters, concentrate on his cars, whoop with joy while riding a shopping trolley, and I realised that the carefree days of doing nothing special with Jack are numbered. In a very short period of time, he will be gone from us for most of the day, doing all sorts of wonderful thing with new teachers and new friends. The days of dagging around the house will be limited to the weekends, and a tiny part of my boy will be lost to growing up.

Phoebe will be a big three-year-old birthday girl in a few weeks. She is so very excited about being a "big girl". I, on the other hand, am going to save how I feel for a day when I can explain without blubbing! She seems to have matured very rapidly in the last month - she speaks much more clearly, she has grown noticeably taller, she is much more confident (and just between you and me, somewhere along the line she has learned how to dance like a teenager...and not from me!!)  Phoebe has a very dry sense of humour which I am sure is going to get her in trouble when she is older - she even knows how to raise one eyebrow! And just when I look at her and wonder where my tiny little baby has gone, she will come over and bury her face into my leg. Those small hands that are losing their baby chubbiness will wrap around me, and she will look up with enormous blue eyes and say, "Mummy, I need a cuddle", or "Mummy, I want you". How long will she be so without guile? How long will a cuddle from me be enough to make her day happy? All I can do is treasure these moments in the hope that my baby girl will never grow out of needing cuddles from Mumma.

And what of my littlest one? Maisie, who feels so big in my arms now, who tries to keep up with the older kids? Like her sister, she seems so very excited about becoming a "big girl". I, on the other hand, am going to save how I feel for a day when I can explain without blubbing! She is already trying to move, something which her brother and sister didn't bother with for a very long time. At every opportunity, Maisie tries to talk, and grab things, and interact with her family. She mastered blowing raspberries today, an accomplishment which she was so patently proud of that she did it all day! I celebrate every new thing she learns to do, while desperately wishing I could hold onto her babyhood.

I know it's impossible to be sad when you have children who are happy, healthy, and are striding along their own merry pathway through life. I suppose I should be leaping with joy at the thought that they are confident and secure enough to try and make their own way, while knowing that Mumma and Daddy are right behind them whenever they need us. And for that reason, I am going to make a conscious effort to remember today as an example of all that is good about staying at home with my babies. What a lucky woman I am to have experienced a sunny, calm day with my kids, where all I had to worry about was getting a double-toddler trolley at Coles. And I suppose if I'm really honest, they're still a fair way off being completely grown-up...after all, this morning I watched Phoebe dress up in a fairy costume, plonk herself down on the potty (fully clothed!) and watch Pingu with her baby doll...I watched Jack make a train track, completely absorbed in his trains and making little stories up with his face level with the floor...and yesterday I watched Maisie in Daddy's arms in the swimming pool, delightedly splashing her chubby little legs, and looking so tiny and new. There is so much that is wonderful about these ages and stages, and it is this thought I must hold on to during the next rainy day when the balance of adorable toddlerhood and feral childhood goes awry!